i skate attack

i skate angry.

the concrete curves above my head. small hills around me.

i attack the curves. sink deeper in my knees. the anger releases a certain abandonment, that leads to creativity. something opens up.

i feel less intimated by the skaters around me.

...

i had been making clay sculpture earlier today. read a book called 'zero point creativity'. about not worrying about product and letting go. i attacked the clay with my elbows and forearms. thwack! i shoved it around. not worrying about product. the experience of the clay itself. i could see a form come out of the clay.

something released in me as i did the sculpture. something about following my instincts.

so i got in the car and drove up the 101 to the skatepark.

and as i skated i noticed that i dont let myself feel angry when i skate. not spiritual. the 'zero point creativity' book talks about following your feelings. its ok. something else opens up.

and so i skate angry.

and my soul opens up

as i drive home ...

i feel more rugged. more man. more wild. and strong.

small voice

My mind has all these small voices that say do this, do that. I've taken to listening to them a lot. What I like about skateboarding is that when I hear dont do that, i can not listen to it, and go for the ride.

I am

I like the skate. I like the concrete. I like going up the side, body hanging over air, gravity pulling it down, but not down fast enough to pull me to the ground.